A World to Believe In
by Kate Roberts
Summary: A one shot smac fic, don't wanna ruin it...contains spoilers about Stella's departure


**WARNING: contains spoilers-ish about Stella's departure from CSI NY, so don't read if you don't wanna know!**

**I have had the idea for this fic for almost 4 months, I had the title (which is a Celine Dion song, FYI) and the storyline but just no pairing. Finally, I settled on Stella/Mac and here it is :)**

**Thanks for Lynette for BETA-ing, for Honor who convinced me to post it :)**

**Disclaimer - as usual, I own nothing :)...enjoy! *lyrics are in bold and flashbacks are in _italics_***

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They were finally there, their wedding day. Mac looked to his right where his gorgeous new bride was sitting. It had been two years since he had rescued Stella from New Orleans. She was in deep conversation with Lindsay, her face lit up with a big smile. Her curly hair had been swept up, with a few ringlets falling loose.

"Ladies and gentlemen, would you please look to the dance floor where the couple will have their first dance as husband and wife." Flack said as Mac stood and took Stella's hand. They walked to the dance floor and Mac wrapped his arms around Stella's waist. The brunette smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close.

"**I've seen the tears and the heartache  
And I've felt the pain  
I've seen the hatred  
And so many lives lost in vain **

**And yet through this darkness  
There's always a light that shines through  
And takes me back home, takes me back home." **

As the song began, Stella recalled the first time she had ever met Mac. She had arrived late to a murder scene, her first ever with the New York crime lab.

_"I am so sorry, traffic was insane." She said the minute Mac walked up to her._

_"Don't worry about it, I'm Mac Taylor."_

_"Stella Bonasera." She said shaking his hand. He quickly explained to her the details of the case and the two got to work. Stella kept glancing Mac's way. He was gorgeous; his features were hard, showing he meant business, but his eyes were soft and loving. She had quickly realized they'd make a good team._

"**I know that dreams we hold on to  
Can just fade away  
And I know that words can be wasted  
with so much to say **

**And when I feel helpless  
There's always a hope that shines through  
And makes me believe."**

Mac could still remember how his heart had sunk in his chest when Stella had walked into his office with a smile.

"_I'm going to New Orleans! They've asked me to run the crime lab there." She had said with a lot of enthusiasm. It had taken a second for her words to sink in but he had smiled._

"_That's great! Congratulations!" He had replied. "When do you leave?" _

"_Next week! I already have an apartment and everything," Stella had said, "I am so excited Mac! Running the lab! It's what I've always wanted!" she added._

"_If you need help packing up, I'll be there." Mac smiled._

"_Don't worry! You've been pinned on boxing duty by Lindsay." Stella laughed. "I will see you in my apartment next Wednesday?" she had asked._

"_I will be there." Mac replied. The brunette gave him a smile and turned on her heels, heading for the door. It was now or never, if Mac wanted to keep her there, he had to tell her how he felt._

"_Stella." He said as her hand touched the door. She whipped around, looking at him with wide green eyes._

"_Mac?" Stella asked after a few seconds of silence._

"_I'm really happy for you." He said chickening out of telling her that he loved her._

"_Thanks Mac." She smiled walking out._

_She couldn't take it anymore. She had only been in New Orleans for two months and she just couldn't do it anymore. Stella couldn't take the stress of running a lab; it was too much for her. She missed New York, she missed her old team…she missed Mac. She looked around her all too empty apartment. The loneliness, mixing with other issues from her past were just too much for Stella. She knew this was a coward's way to for her to go. She had sent the email to Mac minutes before, knowing he wouldn't have the time to come down and stop her. She had also sent out emails to everyone else in the New York lab, telling them goodbye. She glanced at the glass in her hand, it would only take one sip and the contents would spread through her body, killing her slowly. A tear rolled down her cheek as she brought the glass to her lips and tilted her head back. The liquid slowly burned her throat as it went down. She lay her head down and closed her eyes. As the pain began to course through her body, she endured it, she knew in mere moments she'd be in peace. The last thing Stella heard was her front door being kicked in._

"**Life goes on  
Can leave us with sorrow and pain  
And I hold on  
To all that you are  
To all that we'll be  
And I can go on once again"**

Mac placed his cheek against her temple and his mind went back to when he had traveled to New Orleans, after her attempted suicide.

_Mac sat beside Stella's hospital bed, he held her hand tight. A smile had crossed his face when he saw he had an email from Stella, but his heart had stopped when he had read it._

"_What's wrong?" Jo asked seeing the look on his face. When Mac didn't reply, she glanced over his shoulder to read the email. "Jesus Christ, Mac! Do something!" she gasped when she finished the email. The two had immediately called New Orleans police, giving them directions to Stella's apartment and telling them about the email. Mac as soon as he had hung up with the New Orleans PD, making them promise to call as soon as they'd get to Stella, he had grabbed Jo's phone to call every airline to get on the first plane to New Orleans. He sat on his office couch and buried his face in his hands._

"_What's taking them so long!" He said after a while. Jo sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders._

"_They'll call Mac." She said in a reassuring tone. He was so scared. He was scared she wouldn't make it, that he would never get the chance to tell her how much he loved her, that she was much more than just a co-worker and a friend to him. The phone rang minutes later._

"_Taylor." He barked into it. Jo stood next to him, listening closely. _

"_We have her detective Taylor, they're rushing her to Tulane Medical Center, she ingested some kind of poison, the EMT's didn't know if she was going to make it, I will update you when I know more." The Louisiana detective had said. Mac felt the blood drain from his face._

"_Mac, what's wrong?" Jo asked._

"_She poisoned herself, they…uh…they don't know if she's going to make it." Mac said, "I'm going to New Orleans." He said grabbing his coat and heading out the door. After arguing with Jo, they had both agreed he couldn't travel alone and she would be joining him. She was now outside the hospital, updating the team on Stella's condition. They had pumped her stomach and placed her on a ventilator so she could breathe. Mac kissed her hand._

"_I need you to be okay, Stella," He said, "I need you to open your eyes and to look at me and smile like you used you." The brunette stirred and opened her eyes. She had looked at him and smiled._

"_You are so stupid Bonasera, don't ever do something like that again!" Mac said. A tear rolled down Stella's cheek. Mac wiped it with his finger and looked at her. "That being said, you scared me half to death, don't ever do that again, I love you too much to lose you," he added softly. She had squeezed his hand as her lips stretched into a small smile. "You're not alone Stella, you never will be…you have me, you have always had me and you always will." He whispered to her._

"**You gave me faith  
And you gave me a world to believe in  
You gave me a love to believe in  
And feeling this love  
I can rise up above  
And be strong  
And be strong, and be whole once again"**

Stella smiled as Mac pulled her closer. She knew he was remembering when he had flown to New Orleans to get her. He had saved her; he had forced her to come back to New York, to move in with him…not that he had had much convincing to do. She held him tighter as she remembered how close she had been to death.

"I love you, Mac." She whispered softly, doubting he'd hear her over the music.

"I love you too." He replied, brushing his lips against her ear. The song came to an end.

"_**I can live I can dream  
Once again  
'Cause you made me believe"**_

"Thank you, Mac." Stella had whispered again.

"What for?" He asked looking at her. Stella looked up at him and smiled.

"For giving me a world to believe in."

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**I hope you enjoyed this fic :) please leave me a review if you did! I love to hear from you!**

**~Kate xo**

**P.S for those you don't know, the song it called 'A World to Believe In' and is by Celine Dion...i recommend you all listen to it, very beautiful and romantic song :) I got the lyrics off Celine's official website**


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